SUDOKU: One square at a time.

Every morning I wake up to coffee, the morning paper and the game of Sudoku. I never know how long it will take, and I may have to start over, but I play because it reminds me of life in general, and especially of a life in the arts.

Having a career in the arts is unpredictable at best, and like Sudoku, one move, one idea, one book or image may have you thinking that you have the answer to walking with success through the whole puzzle of life. Most of the time when I put that number into the puzzle, I am amazed that that is ALL I got ....one more number. Then I sit and wait again, esp. on Diabolical rounds, for the next number to surface. So what's the point?

I have learned that the game for me is something of a meditation, a chance to let go of time, to let go of a guaranteed win, and a reminder that sometimes the best thing you can do is put the game down and go do something else. When I come back, the next number is usually right in front of me. At that point, my husband has probably heard me say thank you...just to know I'm not stuck.

I have put Sudoku in my mind as a way to deal with the unknowns as I play my own creativity game. One day I draw birds in birch trees. Later I add a birdhouse. A few days or weeks later, I decide that this is connected to the fun I have of small people, so I put a woman standing in the doorway of the birdhouse. A story has started. I give her a tray or bowl of seed to feed the birds. I start a final picture in a hurry....typical of me. I put on the color, but when I'm done, it is not the right composition, and I have a different feeling towards her than I did when I started working with the image. She is that quiet part of me that likes stories of gathering seeds, feeding birds, and watching them come to eat. I think the woman in my picture needs to live in the house.

So today I'm starting over. I have a clean start, a larger piece of paper, and more space to play with. The picture on this blog is getting redone. And like Sudoku, when you have to erase and start over, you know what doesn't work, and usually the next time the puzzle comes together. So here is to starting over, to knowing that the first squares are filled in with this image, this story, and to not quite knowing how it will end up. And here is to being content and grateful for one square at a time, even if you don't know where it leads.